The Greek Restaurant
by Animus Of Lacuna
Summary: Jerry considers breaking up with a girl when she decides to go to a Chinese Restaurant instead of Greek like Jerry wanted to. Elaine can't go to a party because she is single, but she finds someone. George does housework. Kramer and Newman steal a TV.
1. Chapter 1: It Begins

**Outside of Jerry's apartment.**

"So, what are you doing," George asked Jerry walking down the sidewalk to Jerry's apartment.

"I have to meet Jennifer in five minutes, I'm taking her to that Greek restaurant down the corner," Jerry said.

"Lucky you, I have to pay my parents a visit. It's part of their whole new 'family thing.' Let me ask you, when you had your first apartment twenty minutes away from you parent's house, did they have a whole family thing" George asked?

"No, they didn't," Jerry said.

"Ah, well see ya," George responded.

**In Elaine's office.**

Rose came into Elaine's office to tell her some bad news.

"Hey Elaine, remember that party I invited you to before Dave broke up with you," Rose asked Elaine?  
"Yeah, what about it," Elaine asked?

"Well, you see, it's kind of a couple thing, so unless you get a boyfriend before tomorrow night, I'm afraid you can't come," Rose explained.

"What, but that is so unfair," Elaine screamed.

"Life isn't fair," Rose said.

"You know what our goal as a society should be? Having parties where boyfriends and girlfriends aren't needed," Elaine shouted as Rose left.

**At George's parent's house.**

Estelle, George's mom, was dusting the cabinets.

"Why don't you ever help us with anything Georgie," she asked randomly.

"Because I don't need to," George responded.

"It's such a big house! I can't clean it all by myself," she shouted.

"Why not? You do it everyday," George shouted.

Estelle dropped her duster.

"That's it, I can't take it anymore! I'm going to pick up my duster and go upstairs," she shouted, but when she bent down, she threw out her back. "Ohhh, my back," she cried. "I threw out my back," Estelle screamed. "George, help me over to the couch," she demanded.

"If I must," George said, picking her up to the couch.

"Georgie," I won't be able to clean for a couple days, I'm going to need you to clean the house," Estelle said.

"What, but what about Dad? Can't he do it or something," George argued?

"Your father's in Singapore and won't be back for a week, by that time I'll be healed, but until I do, I need you to clean up this house," she shouted.

**At the Post Office.**

Kramer was about to enter to buy stamps with the American underwear on it when Newman walked out of the building carrying a huge box.

"Hey Newman. Say, what's that," Kramer asked?

"It's a large TV. Gets over 500 channels too. I'm supposed to deliver it uptown," Newman explained.

"Hold on, you don't want to do that," Kramer said.

"Why not," Newman asked.

"We could put it in my apartment," Kramer suggested.

"Are you crazy? It'll go against my policy," Newman said.

"But Newman, think about it. If it's in my apartment we could watch anytime we want, and it gets over 500 channels," Kramer said.

Newman thought about it hard.

"OK," Newman said. They both got into the delivery truck, and started driving towards Kramer's apartment.


	2. Chapter 2: Problems And A Solution

**At Jerry's Apartment.**

Jerry heard the buzzer. '_Must be Jennifer,' _Jerry thought.

"Who is it," he asked?

"It's Jennifer," a voice responded.

"Come on up," Jerry said, pressing the button to let her come up. Within minutes, she was up there.

"Hey, how are you," she asked?

"Good, how are you," Jerry asked?

"I'm fine, thank you," she said. "So, where are we going," Jennifer asked.

"Oh, I was thinking of going to that Greek restaurant down the corner," Jerry said.

Jennifer had a blank look on her face.

"I don't really feel like going to Greek. I feel like Chinese today. Let's go," she said.

"OK," was all Jerry could say, for he was stunned. _'Who goes to a Chinese restaurant on their second date? Maybe on their third or fourth, but on their second?'_ Jerry thought.

**At George's Parent's House.**

George was dusting his mother's cabinets.

"Georgie, you missed a spot," Estelle said.

"How can you tell, you can't see me from over there," George screamed.

"Yes I can, the couch is eight feet away from you, of course I can see you," Estelle screamed!

"Well, shouldn't you be blind from the pain of your back," George argued?

"What makes you think that," Estelle screamed?

"Well, who throws out their back picking up a duster," George screamed.

"Your mother that's who," she screamed.

"That's it, I'm outta here," George said, and he went out the door.

**In The Streets Of New York.**

Elaine was walking around pouting, not looking ahead of her. Then she hit a man.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry. Here let me help you," Elaine said.

"No it's fine, I'm good," the man said. But then Elaine saw his face, and he was gorgeous. He thought the same thing about Elaine.

"Hi," they both said at the same time.

"I'm Mark," the guy said.

"I'm Elaine. Are you OK," she asked?

"So Mark, what are you doing," Elaine asked?

"Well, at this time, I like going to my apartment, which is the building right here," he said. "Want to come," Mark asked?

"Sure," Elaine said.

**In Mark's Apartment.**

"Wow," Elaine said as she entered. "This place is unbelievable," she said. Then she looked at the bed. "And a great bed too," she said. Then she got a mischievous look on her face. "You thinkin' what I'm thinking,'" Elaine asked?

"Oh, I think I got you," Mark said.

At Kramer's Apartment. 

Kramer had just installed the TV.

"That should do it," he said. But he didn't notice that it had the words, 'Woody Allen' written on the back of it.


	3. Chapter 3: More Problems

**At Jerry's Apartment.**

Jerry was still trying to get over the fact that Jennifer had suggested to go to a Chinese restaurant instead of Greek on their second date. Then, the buzzer sounded.

"It's George," George said.

"Come on up," Jerry said, unlocking the door for George. Then George entered.

"Hey, how was your date with Jennifer?" George asked. "Did you save me any egg rolls?" George asked.

"No, but I saved you this," Jerry said, giving a bag to George.

"Chicken? Isn't chicken Greek? Didn't you go to a Chinese restaurant?" George asked.

"We were supposed to, but then she 'felt' like Chinese. It's unbearable, who goes to a Chinese restaurant on their second date? Maybe their third or fourth, but no their second!" Jerry cried.

"You should break up with her," George said.

"I can't, we haven't had sex yet, and the Greek food was good. I can't break up with her now!" Jerry said. "So, how was your mother?" Jerry asked.

"She was a pain in the ass. She threw out her back and got me to do her housework for her. Then I just left," George explained.

"You left your injured mother by herself?" Jerry asked.

"Yeah, what about it," George said, getting a bottle of beer. He took many big gulps of it.

"Think of what can happen to her," Jerry said. Then George imagined his mother trying to get up and walk, but falling flat on her face and not being able to call an ambulance.

"Oh my God, I gotta get there," George shouted. But then he realized something. "Oh my God, I just drank a whole bottle of beer! I can't drive, I gotta run," he said.

**At George's Parent's House.**

George had just entered his mom's house.

"Oh my God! Mom, are you all right," George screamed. His mother was just lying there. "Oh my God, no!" George screamed. Then Estelle woke up.

"Oh, Georgie you're back. Can you finish dusting the cabinets? They've been getting dusty," she said.

"Sure thing ma, anything you say," George said.

At Mark's Apartment 

Elaine had just gotten undressed.

"What's taking you so long," she asked Mark.

"Just putting on the condom," Mark said. Then he came out and fell on top of Elaine. And they made love like they had never done before.

**At Kramer's Apartment.**

There was a knock on Kramer's door. It was Newman.

"Hey Newman, want to watch the TV?" Kramer asked.

"It's not that. The TV was supposed to be delivered to Woody Allen. I could lose my job because of this Kramer, what were you thinking?" Newman asked Kramer in a hysterical voice.

"Don't worry buddy, we'll think of something," Kramer said.

"What?" Newman asked.

"If they ask you about the TV, just say that you delivered it, and you'll be good," Kramer said.

"OK," Newman agreed. But he had a feeling that it wouldn't go so well.


	4. Chapter 4: Life Is Hard

**At Jerry's Apartment.**

Jerry heard the buzzer.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"It's Jennifer," the voice responded.

"Come on up," he said, pressing the button to let Jennifer in the building. And in a couple of minutes Jennifer was up there.

Today Jerry was taking Jennifer to a Chinese restaurant, Jerry told himself.

"So, we're going to that Chinese restaurant we went to yesterday, OK?" he asked.

"No, I feel like Greek today," Jennifer told him.

'_Greek. Why not go to Greek yesterday, and Chinese today? Life's a bitch.'_ Jerry thought to himself.

**At George's Parent's House.**

"Here are your eggs and meatloaf ma," George said. He felt so guilty about leaving his mother alone; he was willing to do anything she told him to.

"Thanks Georgie," Estelle said. She took a bite of the meatloaf. "The meatloaf is too runny, can you go make it better Georgie?" Estelle asked.

"Sure thing mother," George said.

**At Mark's Apartment.**

Mark and Elaine had just finished their fun and were going to a Greek restaurant.

"That was the best I've ever had," Elaine said.

"Me too," Mark said.

"Hey Mark, can I ask you something?" Elaine asked.

"Sure," Mark answered.

"Want to go to a party tomorrow?" Elaine asked.

"Sure," Mark answered. He and Elaine walked to the Greek restaurant smiling.

**At The Post Office. **

Newman was being interrogated by the police and his boss about the missing TV.

"Newman, what happened to the TV?" his boss asked him.

Newman went with Kramer's story but then gave up.

"I was forced to give it to someone else, I'm sorry, don't send me to jail or fire me," Newman cried.

"Who was this person who forced you to give it to them?" the policeman asked.

"Kramer. Cosmo Kramer.

**At Kramer's Apartment.**

There was a knock on Kramer's door.

Kramer answered it, it was a policeman.

"Can I help you," Kramer asked.

"You're under arrest," the policeman said.


	5. Chapter 5: Problems Galore

**At The Greek Restaurant**

"I'll take the chicken and the salad," Jerry said. He and Jennifer had just ordered. Then Elaine and Mark came into the restaurant.

"Hey, Jerry," Elaine said.

_'Oh dear God, no.' _Jerry thought. Then he noticed that she had a man with him.

"Who's your boyfriend?" Jerry asked.

"This is Mark. We just had sex," Elaine said.

"So, you're not embarrassed of having sex with Elaine Benes?" Jerry asked.

"No, I am very proud," Mark said.

"That's great. You guys just met and you already had sex? Hey Jerry, when we get home, we should have sex. You want to?" Jennifer asked Jerry.

"Sure, why not," Jerry said in hesitation.

"Great, it'll be the first time I've ever had sex," Jennifer said.

_'First time she's ever had sex. Oh my God,' _Jerry said.

**At George's Parent's House**

George was cooking when he looked through the window into the living room. He couldn't believe what he saw. His mother was dancing.

_'What? She's dancing? Her back's supposed to be injured,' _George thought.

He rampaged into the living room.

"Ma! I can't believe this! You're back is supposed to be injured. And here you are, dancing," George shouted.

"I thought that it would teach you a good lesson," Estelle stammered.

"Yeah, well I don't give a damn. I'm outta here, and this time, I will NOT be swayed by guilt," George screamed as he left.

**Prison**

"Cosmo Kramer?" a police officer asked Kramer.

"Yeah?" Kramer asked.

"You got a visitor," he said. He moved aside and Newman came to Kramer.

"Newman, did you rat me out?" Kramer asked.

"Yes," Newman said.

"Why, that TV had over 500 channels? Oh well, I can still bust out of here, all I need are some tools," Kramer said. He looked to see the police officer looked at them. "Hey Newman, could you bring me the book, saws, hammers, and escape tools?" Kramer asked.

"Sure thing buddy," Newman said. However, he had no clue that Kramer didn't actually want the BOOK saws, hammers, and escape tools, but that he actually did want saws, hammers, and escape tools.


	6. Chapter 6: The Break Ups

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of these characters except for Mark and Jennifer.**

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**At Jerry's House**

Jennifer and Jerry were having sex in their bed. Jerry wasn't really enjoying it that much.

_'This is definitely the first time she's had sex. She's terrible at it' _Jerry thought to himself.

Eventually they finished and Jerry thought that he had to tell the truth.

"Jennifer, I think you're weird," Jerry said.

"What makes you think that?" Jennifer said, tearing up.

"You took us to a Chinese restaurant on our second date," Jerry said.

"So what?" Jennifer asked, ready to cry.

"Nobody goes to Chinese on their second date, maybe their third, but not second. I was going to take you to a Greek restaurant," Jerry said.

"What else?" Jennifer asked, crying a little bit.

"How can you still be a virgin up until now? What are you, thirty-one?" Jerry asked. Jennifer left the apartment crying.

_'Did I lay it on here too hard?' _Jerry thought to himself.

Then George came in.

"Hey, I just saw Jennifer running out of here crying. What happened?" George asked.

"We had a whole fight on how I think she's weird," Jerry told George.

"How is she weird?" George asked.

"She took me took a Chinese restaurant on our second date," Jerry explained.

"Ah, the true sign of weirdness," George said.

"You know, I think that I've always liked weird people," Jerry said.

"Like who?" George demanded to know.

"Remember Kristen Klick from high school? I liked here, and she was the strangest girl in our grade," Jerry said.

"Yeah, well it turns out my mother's been lying to me. I caught her dancing when her back was supposed to be 'injured,'" George said, drinking a beer.

"Yeah, think about how upset she is in that apartment right now," Jerry said. George thought about it.

"Oh my God. I gotta get over there. Oh, God damn it, I just drank a beer, I have to run again," George said running out of the apartment.

**At Rose's Party**

"So Elaine, you have a boyfriend, and a sexy one too," Rose commented.

"Yeah, his name's Mark," Elaine said.

"Yeah, and you're pretty sexy too," Mark told Rose.

"Oh yeah. You want to find out how sexy I am?" Rose asked.

"Yeah," Mark said. Rose and Mark started walking towards the bedroom.

"What, that's it, Mark, we're breaking up," Elaine shouted, leaving the party.

**At George's Parents House**

When George came back, Estelle was crying.

"Mom, I'm so sorry, I never should've screamed like that," George said, hugging Estelle.

"It's not that. The plane your father was on crashed. He's dead," Estelle cried.

"Oh my God, mom I'll be here with you till the end," George said.

**Prison**

"Kramer, I got you your book, Saws, Hammers, and Escape Tools. A Newberry Award Winner," Newman said, giving Kramer the book.

"Newman, I needed real saws, hammers, and escape tools," Kramer shouted.

But, the police officer heard them, and he put Newman in the cell with Kramer.


	7. Chapter 7: Busting Out The Beginning

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of these characters except for Mark and Rose.**

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* * *

**At Jerry's Apartment**

Jerry couldn't help but feel bad about what he said to Jennifer. Then he decided to call her.

"Jennifer, I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?" Jerry asked Jennifer over the phone.

"Of course. I think that we should we tell the truth to each other. And, I've never dated anyone before you," Jennifer said.

"What?" Jerry asked, astonished.

"I've never had a date before you. Why do you think I've never had sex before?" Jennifer asked.

"How old are you?" Jerry asked Jennifer.

"Thirty-six," Jennifer responded.

"Have a nice life," Jerry said hanging up the phone.

"You son of a-" the line cut off before Jennifer could finish.

"That might as well have been her first curse word," Jerry said.

* * *

**At George's Apartment**

"You know Georgie, your father was a great man," Estelle said, thinking about Frank.

"You already told me that ma," George said, obviously annoyed and not touched by his father's sudden and tragic death.

"He was the best in his class. You know, his class only had three people in it," Estelle said.

"Ma, I know this is sad, but come on. I don't want to think about dad for the rest of my pitiful life! Wow, I make myself sound like a loser," George said.

**

* * *

**

**At Jerry's Apartment (Again)**

Jerry heard the buzzer. _'Who could that be?' _Jerry thought to himself.

"Who is it?" he asked over the buzzer.

"It's Elaine," Elaine responded.

"Come on up," Jerry said, pressing the buzzer to let her in. Within minutes she was up and mad.

"Can you just believe my luck? I come with Mark to Rose's party. And they end up having sex," Elaine shouted.

"Well, that how the world goes round and round," Jerry said.

"Yeah, I guess," Elaine said. Then the phone rang.

"Hello. What? Where? Why? OK, we'll bring some money and get you two out. Or maybe we'll leave Newman there," Jerry said, and he hung up the phone.

"What's going on?" Elaine asked.

"Newman and Kramer are in jail. Apparently Kramer talked Newman into stealing a flat screen TV from the mail," Jerry said. "We need enough money to bus them out," Jerry said.

* * *

**Prison**

"OK buddy, Jerry's on his way, we'll be out of here in no time," Kramer said.

"I sure hope so," Newman said.


	8. Chapter 8: End Credits

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of these characters, just Rose, Mark, and the police officer in this chapter. I'm sorry that this chapter is going to be SO short.

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**At George's Apartment**

"Georgie, I have great news," Estelle said, running in the room.

"What is it ma?" George asked.

"Your father survived the crash, he'll be home any minute," Estelle said.

"What? That's great ma. You go freshen up," George said. When she left, he started crying into his pillow.

* * *

**Prison**

"Hello, we're here to pay the fine for our friends over there," Jerry said, pointing to Kramer and Newman.

"Oh Jerry, thank God you're here," Newman said.

"Jerry, you're going to bust us out?" Kramer asked.

"Yes, but in a legal way, not like you tried to," Jerry said.

"Uh, I'm sorry, you only have enough money to release on of your friends," the police officer said.

"Oh, OK, Kramer, get outta there," Elaine said.

"Yes," Kramer said, and he walked out of the cell, leaving Newman in there. Just like Jerry had suggested.

"Wait. What about me?" Newman asked.

"Good luck buddy," Kramer said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Newman screamed.

"Shut up scum," the police officer said.

* * *

**At George's Apartment**

The doorbell rang.

"George, your father's here. Act all happy," Estelle said. George put on a fake smile. She opened the door, and in came Frank, almost completely covered in a cast.

"Frank, are you all right?" Estelle asked.

"Why do you treat me like I'm handicapped woman?" Frank yelled.

"I was just trying to be polite," Estelle screamed back.

"Well, that's it. I'm going on another plane, hoping for another crash," Frank said, and he walked out the door.

* * *

**At Jerry's Apartment**

"Jerry, guess what?" Elaine asked, coming in.

"What?" Jerry asked, curious to know.

"You know Rose, and my Mark right?" Elaine asked.

"Yes," Jerry responded.

"Well, they're getting married," Elaine said.

Then, Kramer barged in.

"Guess what sentence Newman got," Kramer said.

"10-12 decades," Jerry said hoping that he was right.

"3-5 months, and that's only with good behavior," Kramer said.

"Well, I'm sure Newman is behaving fine," Elaine said.

* * *

**Prison**

Newman was choking one of his inmates because they had eaten his food.

"Give it back. Cough it back out you son of a bitch," Newman screamed, and the end credits roll.


End file.
